FULL TRANSCRIPT
Hey guys, it’s Adrian here with the spirit Up show. And I want to speak today about the subject of problems.
Now I had a client this morning, and he actually told me about certain types of problems that he had, which brought me to this subject where I thought, well, problems are nothing but questions that have not been asked yet. If you experience anything in your life right now as being problematic, most of the time it is linked. And please tell me if that’s not the case. But most of the time, it’s linked with a lack of clarity. And as soon as you get clarity, as to what exactly is the problem when you say, what, exactly is the problem? Well, “I’m not really clear”. “I’m not sure, I don’t really have the answers yet”. But just the moment you start to orient your focus on a particular question that you’re trying to solve, then you can actually get in into action into solving that problem, you can actually get moving. And the funny thing is that once you’re clear exactly as to what the problem is, once you have asked a question as to like what you’re trying to solve, you move from a problematic approach to a project oriented approach, project being simply you have a target, and you have a goal when you want to reach and you’re simply working at it to get to that goal.
And one of the problems that many people around us are experiencing right now, particularly if you’re still working from home. And if that’s something you’re not used to, even though it’s been now a year, if that’s something you have, you actually are not comfortable with. Because you’re used to be working with people being in an office is still something that actually drives your efficiency. If if that’s something you relate to, then please listen up here really carefully, because that might really help you.
If you feel stress, if you experience stress, you know, everyone speaks about that. But what exactly is stress? Like? How does stress gets generated? And in very simple words, you experience stress, the moment you feel out of control. right, when your life feels out of control, you experience stress, because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, most people when they say, I’m stressed, there is another sentence that follows and that’s: “what should I do?” Or “I don’t know what to do”. You see, in the follow up phrase that comes with the “I’m stressed or I feel overwhelmed, I feel stressed”. There is this lack of clarity, there is a sense of there are many possibilities. But I’m not clear as to which direction, I should go. I’m not sure as to what I should be doing right now. You know, “I could go left or go right. So you have many possibilities, and you feel out of control instead of in control. And I know that it helped me you know, understanding stress as being out of control, because then it helps me to as it helps me to ask the question, what should I do? or What can I do to gain that control? Like, what exactly am I trying to control here? And what can I do to actually gain that control?
Some people might actually say, you know, a funny Adrian or its really sweet because control is an illusion. And, alright, control is probably an illusion. But the feeling of being in control of your life is not so much an illusion, right? I mean, we all have moments where we feel more in control than other times. And gaining that control is actually not all that difficult
And there’s not actually also much one needs to do to gain control. Control is actually very, very simple. If you boil it down to, in essence, what it really is, and it’s actually something hold on here a minute, it’s actually something that we dread to do that requires a little bit of discipline that requires a little bit of self directing. The only thing you need to do to get outside of stress to get out of stress or to gain a little bit more control over your life is actually making decisions. It seems so simple right? Like what just making a decision? Yes. You know that decision. The word decision originally like if you go from from the etymological perspective of the word, it actually means to “cut out”. So when you decide you’re actually take a stand now, you might say yeah, but that’s exactly my problem. Like I’m not sure as to what I should do.
Decide. Decide nonetheless, when in doubt, decide. If you’re not sure decide. That means say yes to something and say no to something. Be very clear, have very clear edges. If you’re stressed out if you’re experienced a problem its because you have a lack of clarity, the very first step you can do to actually gain back that clarity. (1) Well, first of all, pull it out of your head, you know, like doing all that decision part just with you in your head, having all the different voices in your head, actually is kind of complicated. So, so take a piece of paper, take a pen, and write that problem down, you like, put it out there, outside of your head, and then you can start reflecting on it, you can start to observe it, instead of being inside of that problem. Know what I mean? And when you do that kind of work, putting it down on paper, observing it, trying to figure out asking the question, what is the problem? What it is that I’m trying to achieve here? What is my desired outcome? Like, where do I want to go? And then trying to find out, what’s one thing I could be doing to move that thing forward? And really tried to drill it down to a concrete step you can actually take. That’s what I mean with decide. making a decision as to, okay, what is it I want? That’s a decision, you know, like desired outcome needs to come from you. What do you want? If you have a problem? There’s something that you want out of it. You might say, Yeah, I want I want to have the problem solved. But how does it look like the problem solved? And once you have that, once you have that, then try to identify, what’s the next step? What’s the step you want to take you decide to take to move forward on that?
You see, most people, and me included, say most people, when I should say we all tend to do this overwhelm is nothing more than having different options, many different options, and not deciding, it’s putting the decision to later and say, I’ll take care, I will take care of later, I can’t do this right now. That’s actually that that is a decision. But it’s not one that increases the clarity. It really isn’t. It’s just something that decreases clarity and puts even more stress on you, it puts even more overwhelmyou to postpone it.
Sometimes, really just putting it down on paper, making a decision as to what I want, and making a decision as to what exactly I am going to do about this can already feel so much soothing, I should say here.
And it doesn’t have to be all fancy, you know, the solutions we use. They’re not all that complicated. But what most people have is very much high knowledge of what it is they could be doing. And very little of application. If that makes sense. We know so much. We know like maybe you’ve heard that, you know, maybe what I’m just doing and saying you’re like, I know that already. Well, do you? Do you really like know THAT ? And do you apply IT? Because that’s the key here?
Do you apply do take a piece of pen and a piece of paper and write down what it is? what your problem is?
The quotes are not to minimize the problem. It’s just there a problem but they can become a project, something you’re actually working on. You know, it always feels that way. For me when I have a problem. I feel like a victim. Does that ring a bell? Like having a problem is mostly I’m a victim. At least that’s how I feel nowadays. And I hate feeling like a victim, I want to somehow be responsible, I want to be responsive, have the option of you know, responding in my own way with my own free will and not being subject to problems.
So I like to make them my own. I like to make problems my own and transform them into projects where like, you know what, I had a problem now I have a project and I’m working on it. So I hope that helps.
Just for as a summary. If you’re experienced a lot of stress and problems. Just do yourself a favor and transform that problem into a project. How very simple. Put it out of your head. Don’t try to argue with yourself in your head, put it down on paper, observe it and ask a question you haven’t asked yet. Because if you have a problem, it’s because you haven’t asked the question that is underlying that problem. What are you trying to solve? ask yourself that question and then make a decision as to well in the best world How could my result look like? Like, what’s the targets? What are you working on? Where are you going? That needs to be clear. And then once you have that, then ask yourself, okay, now that I know what I want, what do I decide? will I do? Once you’ve done that, most of the time 90% of the time, your problems, they can become projects. I hope that helps. Have a wonderful evening or day depending on where, when and when you’re going to see this. I’m going to see you and speak to you very soon.
Until then live up to your potential. Bye